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Here is part two of our interview with Courtney Clay on Ecstatic Parenting. We are going to cover some awesome topics today such as discipline, schooling, unassisted birth, and health care! If you have yet to read part one click here first. Enjoy!

Courtney, our honored guest

RG: What are your views on discipline or training?

CC: I view my relationship with my son as a partnership. The key, for me, in maintaining harmony in our relationship is clear communication, and seeing him as my ally. I try my best to understand him, and his reasons for doing what he does… not just so I can know, but also (and especially!) so I can help him consciously understand his reasons! I try my best to determine the cause of his actions, rather than scolding (or praising) the visible effects of that invisible cause. For example, if he is acting out in some way, I will see if I can determine what he wants to communicate to me, and shift my focus to what that might be, rather than being resistant/offended/righteous about a certain behavior and letting it distract my focus from what’s really going on with him. I might not figure it out right away, but just being open to finding out shifts my energy into more peacefulness and compassion. I still communicate to him about the behavior itself (why I don’t like it, and what I will do if he does it again… like remove the thing involved, take him somewhere else, etc), but I try not dwell on it.

So often, acting out is related to tiredness, hunger, pain, boredom (lack of the stimulation of the learning opportunities someone requires at that time), or loneliness… remember that this is true for children AND adults!! If I have a feeling about why he is acting out, I will ask him about it, to assist him in becoming aware of his own feelings and motivations, so he learns to understand himself. Then our communication turns into a mutual seeking of understanding. My son is still a toddler, and since becoming a toddler, I have noticed that often, the strength and “bigness” of his emotions scares him! Often, when he has an emotional outburst, he will immediately ask to nurse… like he lost control and scared himself, and needs comfort! So my number one priority in those situations is to help him understand himself, and for ME to be calm and compassionate so he can see that I’M not scared or provoked by his outburst, so he doesn’t have to be, either. Not to say that I always feel calm or compassionate in those situations… that is certainly not always the case! But that is another opportunity for deepening our connection. When I am able to come to a calmer place, I also share with him what I was/am feeling (having it be about me, not blaming my feelings on him), so he can see that I, also, navigate through really big emotions… so it’s another connection point between us. Love, understanding, communication… that’s what it’s all about!

Courtney spinning Cedar

RG: What are your views on child education?

CC: I believe that all humans are born already equipped with a deep, all-consuming, biological drive to understand and develop proficiency in the place in which they find themselves, and this drive begins in full force at the moment or birth (or the moment of conception, really). Babies and young children practice unrelentingly, and eventually master, basic physical movement and methods of communication with those around them. As toddlers, they unrelentingly imitate those around them, feeling deeply that the way those around them are acting, and the things they are doing, indicate the most important things about this place they were born into — therefore, the things they MUST explore thoroughly for themselves. If they are prevented from following this drive, they throw fits, because this drive to become proficient is SO strong. If they are told that they should be doing something other than what they feel deeply driven to do (which is what school curriculums do), it will not make sense to them, because they are already equipped with a mechanism within that shows them exactly what they REALLY need to be doing to develop proficiency as quickly as possible. There is a method of childhood “education” that supports this view of human nature, called child-led learning, self-directed learning, or unschooling. An accurate way to perceive unschooling is learning by living, rather than school’s effects of separating everyday life from “things you will need to know, someday, for some reason, although most of us still aren’t sure why”. Public schools SEEM to teach about so many subjects… yet, how many of us learned the most basic things about life in school? How many of us learned in school about optimal nourishment, food preparation, how to grow food for ourselves, tree and rock climbing, thermoregulation (body temperature regulation, which is essential for survival outside of the climate-controlled boxes we live in), how to purify water for drinking, how to make basic things like clothing or simple furniture… and those are just basic things every human should know (and used to know, in the not-too-distant past), to keep ourselves healthy and comfortable in any situation. These are the skills that used to be passed down in families… practical skills. The main purpose of modern schooling seems to be all about learning how to follow orders, conform to a schedule, and learn skills that will make us useful as another cog in the wheel of an unsustainable societal structure (so we can “get a job”).

I have never been to school (besides 4 years of community college, where I studied only exactly what I wanted to learn). When I was young, my parents decided to keep me out of school, since neither of them perceived much benefit from their own schooling experience, and felt there was something much more ideal they could do for their children. For most of my childhood, my sisters, my friends and I were immersed in imaginative, creative play, with a wide variety of “practical life skills” woven into our play. I learned to read at a young age, because I had early interest in reading. My two younger sisters’ interest in reading came much later (when they were 9-10), but when they got into it, they skipped all the “children’s books” and went right for grown-up books like The Bible and A Wrinkle In Time (each of which were one of my sisters’ “first books”!). They have both been avid readers ever since.

Learning and observing all the time

As a child and teenager, I learned from living… I still learn from living, and I always will. The best thing my parents assisted me in learning was how to learn. If one understands how to learn, how to access the information and resources they require to follow their interests on a subject, anything is possible! The way my parents “taught” me how to learn, was when expressed interest in something, my parents involved me in finding out resources and answers, so I observed them doing that. I have taught myself so many things. It was usually a combination of personal experimentation and seeking help from those with extensive experience who were willing to help me. I never had schoolteachers, but I have had so many inspiring, memorable teachers in my life. I also learned a lot from the environment I grew up in… my parents ran their own home business during my childhood, so I learned how to be an entrepreneur. I have owned 3 of my own successful businesses so far. My sister now makes her living as a highly sought-after music teacher (piano & violin) in California. My other sister is an accomplished ballerina and a talented graphic designer.

From an unschooling perspective, “school-age” begins at birth. With my son, since the day he was born, I have paid attention to his cues about what he is most ready for and interested in exploring, and I help facilitate his learning. Obviously, sometimes, there are things he is interested in that he is not ready for (like playing with sharp knives). But learning that he is not ready for something (and the reason for it) is part of learning about it! I try to ensure that if I do prevent him from doing something he wants to do, I have a really good reason for it, and I communicate that reason, and then do the best I can to give him a similar option that works (like using a duller knife to practice cutting vegetables himself).

Self-directed learning (unschooling) just makes sense, when human nature is deeply considered. Babies naturally have an internal motivation to learn to sit up, crawl, walk, run, talk, and have conversations. We don’t have to convince them that they need to learn those things… it is obvious. The best thing we can do is support them and encourage their efforts, and help them out when they ask for it. Along that train of thought, would it not be the same for more “advanced” skills like reading, writing, calculating numbers, learning about computers, how to repair things and make things, etc? Of course it is!! Children/teenagers/adults, just like babies, naturally have a keen observation of the world around them that tells them exactly what they need to know at all times. If a child identifies a good reason in his environment that makes him really want to know how to read, he will be motivated by an unstoppable force, with single-pointed focus… and when that motivation is present, I have seen (and experienced myself, as a child/teenager/adult) children learn a subject 10-20+ times faster than a child who is told they should learn something by someone else, yet they themselves do not fully understand the practical and meaningful application in their own life of learning that thing. There is no separation between learning and life. Learning IS life.

Cedar learning how to make food by watching/helping Courtney

RG: You had an unassisted home birth. Will you talk about this a little and share what effect you think this had on Cedar?

CC: Yes! You can read the full story of my pregnancy and birth on my blog, here:

http://chocotrixie.blogspot.com/2009/10/my-blissful-pregnancy-cedars-glorious.html

Giving birth to my first child, in my home, with only my husband and my mom present, was definitely the most intense experience of my life so far! He was born 28 hours after my first gentle contractions began. My husband caught him, and I heard the voice and looked into the eyes of my perfect little creation. I was ecstatic beyond words, I felt triumphant beyond comprehension, and caught a momentary glimpse of the vastness of my power. I have been very different since then.

All throughout my pregnancy, I felt deeply called to give birth in the most sacred, intimate way possible… for me, that was about being in my comfortable sacred space, surrounded only by my husband and my mother. I knew it had the potential to be a profoundly spiritual experience, if I could create the conditions that would nurture and support that state in coming forth. I did, and it was crazy intense.

I think the effect it had on Cedar was one of empowerment and triumph… we did it together, the only two people who could have done it for us! I breathed into it, dove into the all-consuming intensity, even when I really thought I couldn’t do it. As my son was born, my perception of myself was reborn.

I also think it created an immediate powerful, intimate bond for us as a new family. Cedar, Isaac & I have a closeness, a resonance, that I rarely observe in families I see, especially families who choose more mainstream child-raising methods. I feel so grateful to experience this level of intimacy, harmony, and unspoken knowingness (which often feels very telepathic) within my amazing small family!

Courtney, Isaac, and Cedar sun gazing at White Rock Lake

RG: I know Cedar has rarely been sick in his 2 years of life, but what do you do to help him heal quickly when he does feel less than ideal?

CC: Cedar has had only a few mild “bugs” in his life so far, and they always came at times when we were under some form of stress (often the good kind, excitement-stress!) and around lots of people… like both times we attended the Rethinking Everything conference, where we sleep at a hotel for 5 nights and participate in group activities and sessions for many days, and are around hundreds of people! Both times when we got home, he had a mild cold for a few days… I just saw it as his immune system having been suddenly bombarded with a huge amount of new information, and he was taking some “down time” to integrate all of it! He has never had an ear infection, a fever, or any childhood illnesses (even though he is not vaccinated).

In the instances where he is having some “down time” in this way, I take extra care to ensure his environment is calming and more quiet than usual, and we usually spend a few days by ourselves around our house and outside on our land. I usually will evaluate my own life at this time, to determine if there is any imbalance that is trying to get my attention through Cedar’s condition (which always ends up being the case!). I make sure I am extra available for him (attention and nursing), and that I am nurturing myself plenty, as well. When he was younger and mostly nursing (not eating much food), I would eat extra medicinal mushrooms, vitamin C, and other immune system supporting herbs, and cut back on expansive/stimulating foods, and foods that require lots of digestive energy… then he would benefit through my breastmilk. Now that he’s eating more, I just add more of those things into his food. Mostly I just focus on relaxing more, clearing any unnecessary activities out of my schedule, and being really present with myself and him.

Courtney comforting Cedar

RG: Cedar has never been to a doctor or pediatrician in his life. Please share how you feel about children and medical care.

CC: A decade ago, I took responsibility for my own health. I decided that if I wanted to experience a particular level of health, it was up to me, and I learned that my state of health is directly related to my lifestyle and emotional state. Even when I was a child, my sisters and I rarely saw doctors. We were all born at home. Being my parents’ firstborn back in 1981, they knew very little at that time about the harmful effects of vaccinations, so when they took me in for a routine vaccination when I was just over a year old, I pulled the needle out of my butt. That was the last vaccination I ever had, as that incident caused my parents to rethink the vaccination issue and do some research… so my younger sisters never got any!

In my experience of reality, there has never been a reason to go to a doctor, outside of real emergencies. I didn’t see a doctor or midwife during my whole pregnancy, and haven’t since, either. I know enough about natural foods, herbs, and caring for my body, to at least have an idea of what to do in any situation… and I feel confident with acting on what I know. Even if I don’t know everything I might need to know, I feel confident than my intuition will serve me well, and that I probably already have more of a clue than most doctors.

Most people go see doctors because they don’t know how to care for their own bodies, and/or they don’t trust themselves. I’m not talking about broken legs or uncontrollable bleeding… but minor things like colds, flus and ear infections. Those things are so easy to resolve with awareness, knowledge of how our bodies work, knowledge of natural foods and herbs, confidence in our ability to care for ourselves, patience, faith, and the ability to look honestly at where we are off balance in our life. I empower all of us to claim these qualities as our own!

RG: Are there any additional words of wisdom you would like to share on parenting and nourishing our children?

CC: If you have interest in learning how to use superfoods, wild foods & nutrient-dense raw foods, I will be publishing my first book in September 2012! Recipes for Ecstasy: 55 Delicious & Deeply Nutritious Culinary Creations using Superfoods, Raw Food & Wild Food.

My increase in appetite since giving birth has inspired the creation of an astonishing amount of delicious recipes! Follow my blog to stay tuned:

http://chocotrixie.blogspot.com

Also, visit my blog if you are interested in my further musings on subjects related to conscious parenting, and let me know what you think!
~Courtney Clay

Courtney and Cedar on their five acres of land

Good work Courtney! As usual, You ROCK!

I have a very special treat for you today! I decided to interview one of my best friends, Courtney Clay, on her views on parenting. The way she interacts with her son Cedar is both Radical and Refreshing and very different from the way people in our society normally raise their children. At times, on my blog, I post things which are bold, opinionated, and tend to “stir the pot” a little, like this post did. My reasoning for doing this is not to be judgmental, critical, or contradictory to someone’s viewpoint or way of life, but only to present a different, more empowered way being and looking at our world.

What both Courtney and I love best is being in community, sharing, talking, dancing, playing, eating amazing food, and appreciating everyone’s uniqueness without judgment or pretense. This is not to say our ego never takes over in our interaction with others, but when it does we regret it. In our hearts we realize everyone is awesome and cosmic, a spiritual brother or sister who has so much worth and so much to teach us. So, my dear friends, as you read the interview below, please take what resonates with you and discard what doesn’t. All we ask is that you follow the spirit, your own internal guidance system. The more we listen to it and follow its promptings, the stronger it becomes.

And now, without further adieu, I introduce to you Courtney Clay…

RG: Your son, Cedar, has been slightly advanced to very advanced in almost every milestone so far in his development, from physical coordination to talking. How much of this do you attribute to the way you nourish him?

CC: I feel his nourishment has enhanced and accelerated his development in all areas. A lot of children these days who grow up on processed food have a variety of challenges… the main ones I’ve noticed (common in many young children I have observed) are regular runny noses, colds and ear infections multiple times each year, digestive issues, tooth decay, stunted growth, requiring a lot of sleep (longer naps and more night sleep than Cedar requires to be fully rested), and a general sluggishness, moodiness, and/or rebelliousness… all of which are absent in Cedar. When a child doesn’t have to deal with all those things, they have far more energy to grow, explore, and become proficient in their world. That’s my perception on how my son’s health has affected his development.

Also realize that what our culture views as “developmentally advanced” is only advanced compared to the norm in our culture, where low-grade, chronic sickness IS the norm. In many indigenous cultures, whose diets are nutrient-dense, and who live close to the earth and live in family/community, the development of their children is quite a bit more accelerated than even what our culture views as advanced!

RG: What foods are you currently giving to Cedar (or what are his favorite foods)? And which foods do you feel are the most important for children to consume for optimum development?

CC: The qualities of food I emphasize in Cedar’s (and my own) diet, which I see as my responsibility to provide for him, creatively encourage him to eat, and be an example of enjoying them, are:

1. Nutrient-dense … grown in richly mineralized soil, and varieties that are wild/heirloom/minimally-hybridized.

2. Fresh … for fruits and veggies, this means they were picked as soon as possible before eating; NOT the 1-2 week-old “fresh” produce from the store! (although we do buy organic produce from the store sometimes, for variety’s sake) For nuts/seeds, it means they have been cold-stored to keep the oils from going rancid.

3. Minimally-processed … we do mildly “process” some things, via our blender, food processor, dehydrator, and buying high-quality packaged superfoods… but all of these are a HUGE upgrade to the way “processed foods” and fast foods are processed!

Courtney, Cedar, David and I picking up fresh produce at the Saturday morning farmer’s market

I feel best about him eating the freshest, most nutrient-dense raw foods I can possibly access. His diet currently includes:

• Wild-harvested local spring water
• Nutrient-dense fat & protein sources … he really goes for the fatty stuff, as a rapidly growing child should! He loves avocados, macadamia nuts, chia seeds in the form of homemade chia crackers, coconut, fresh pecans from our trees, raw egg yolks, pumpkin seeds, cashews, crunchy chlorella tabs, dulse, nori, and superfood treats I make with lots of hemp seeds and algae.
• Wild foraged foods … he can identify a dozen or more wild foods on his own, and eats them regularly! His favorites are wood sorrel leaves and flowers, wild arugula flowers, and various wild berries and fruits.
• Fermented foods … he loves my homemade pickles, kombucha, water kefir, beet kvass, and lacto-fermented sodas.
• Mineral-rich herbal tea infusions … his favorites are nettle and oatstraw.
• Mineral-rich fruits … he loves berries, cucumbers, tomatoes, apples, and many wild fruits including wild persimmons, juniper berries, hackberries, gum bully berries, wild pears, and dewberries.
• Fresh veggies … he doesn’t eat many leafy greens at this point, but he loves celery, wild wood sorrel, and enjoys leafy greens or any other veggie as part of the delicious salads we make.

By the way, he is still breastfeeding many times daily (and a couple times during the night) at this point (he is 28 months), which I know adds so much to his health! He also enjoys raiding my supplement cabinet. I only eat food-source and superfood supplements, so he’s welcome to anything we have. He loves to chew up probiotic and enzyme capsules, DHA (golden algae source) capsules, take droppers of marine phytoplankton, drink angstrom minerals, and he sometimes even eats reishi mushroom capsules!

I feel medicinal mushrooms are some of the best food-herbs for children to consume. They are non-toxic in any amount, and are immune-system tonics/modulators. So I regularly make a few recipes that contain mushrooms for him, like our Super Blueberry Popsicles: blend blueberries, a little water, a bit of honey or raw coconut sugar, medicinal mushroom powders (usually reishi and/or chaga), high-vitamin-C berry powders (like camu, acerola or amla), and maybe wild blue-green algae and/or a super supplement like Bone Renewal from The Synergy Company (which contains food-source calcium, magnesium, silica, vitamins D3, K1, K2, and herbal synergists… great for growing bodies!!) … blend, then add to popsicle moulds! The blueberries really balance out the bitter and tart flavors of the mushrooms and vitamin C.

Young Cedar eating a blueberry popsicle

My diet is really similar to Cedar’s, except I eat a larger percentage of herbs, vegetables, seaweed, and raw chocolate

All that said, it is essential to note that I do not view the structure above as a dietary regimen; it is not a fixed idea of what the perfect diet is. I am constantly evolving, and if I were to identify my Self with a specific way of doing things, I would be disempowered… the picture I painted above is only a snapshot of what I am currently inspired to provide for my son and am drawn to for myself. It is my current perception of my healthiest choices in the realm of food at this point in time. I am not recommending that you do all/any of those things… I do recommend that you continually explore new ways of nourishing yourself, broaden your culinary horizons, and always seek higher levels of health and happiness. Pay attention to what resonates with you, inspires you, gets you feeling excited, and DO THAT! Also pay attention to what you might be doing currently that is holding you back, and consider letting it go. Whether your inspiration is ignited by something I am doing, or something someone else is doing, or a vision that comes to you in a dream… whatever, it doesn’t matter. Do what makes YOU feel ecstatic!

RG: How important do you feel being in nature is for children?

CC: Essential for optimal health and happiness. Think of it this way: What IS nature, anyway? Nature is all that exists naturally on the planet we were born onto. Our bodies are living organisms made completely of earth substance; our bodies are intelligent, self-sustaining and self-repairing ecosystems in themselves. Our bodies are designed to exist within and interact with the greater ecosystem around us, which is also intelligent, self-sustaining and self-repairing.

In our modern societies, we have tried so hard to distance ourselves from the natural world. We have tried to control nature; to subdue it. We have created artificial ecosystems that are NOT intelligent, self-sustaining and self-repairing: they require constant maintenance from us, and are always in danger of falling apart. That in itself is fine, it could be a fun game… except that we have become dependent on these systems. Most people, these days, would be terrified if they had to live outside of their climate-controlled boxes, away from the stimulating/sedating processed food they are used to, and suddenly completely responsible for providing for themselves all of their basic needs like shelter, food and water. Any other animal on earth (except maybe our domesticated pets) would be instinctively confident and resourceful in this situation. Most people in our society would not be able to survive on our very own planet, if these man-made, fragile structures fell apart even temporarily!

So nature is our natural home. We are one of many living organisms that are part of the natural world, and we are interdependent. Modern man has become arrogant, to our great detriment. Indigenous people who have lived out their whole lives intimately connected with nature would not even consider doing anything which would cause harm to the ecosystem in which they live, because they recognize this larger ecosystem as their body’s life-support system! When we look at it this way, it can seem like the greatest form of insanity possible.

Cedar climbing trees and enjoying the natural world around him!

The earlier we can begin to discover our place in the natural world, the more deeply we can develop a meaningful connection with all life, and maybe discover a greater sense of purpose in our life.

The benefits I have noticed from children being in regular contact with the natural world: They are calmer, and more alert, focused, and engaged with what’s going on around them. There is constant movement in the natural world, a constant rhythm, and interesting changes and cycles. The terrain is more varied and more challenging, so they have an opportunity to develop much greater physical proficiency (which automatically develops mental proficiency) by navigating hills, rocks, mud, sand, trees, spiky plants, weather extremes (which fine-tune our body’s adaptability and immune system) etc. The air is fresh and full of oxygen, which balances their energy and mood and sharpens their minds. They have the opportunity to observe where their nourishment really comes from: food and water originate in the natural world, not in a store. They can discover the joy of interacting with a variety of different life forms, like animals, insects and birds. They are exposed to sunlight, which is essential for healthy growth, bone development, happiness, contentment, deep sleep, and hormone regulation. Children are naturally more active when they’re outdoors, because there’s so much more space, and so much to explore. It’s a way for them to channel their high energy in a constructive way. Nature makes toys, too! Sticks, rocks, and balls (fruits/nuts from plants and trees) of all shapes and sizes!

RG: You like to sleep outside with Cedar whenever the weather permits. What positive effect do you feel this has on him?

CC: Every time I sleep outside, I notice how much more interesting the sky is than my bedroom ceiling I love breathing fresh air all night long (we open our bedroom windows every night anyway, even in winter, but actually being outside makes such a difference!), hearing the crickets sing at night and the birds sing at sunrise, and waking up to a beautiful and ever-changing panorama of sky! One time, we slept outside for a few nights, in a straw-bale circle we made (our usual outdoor sleeping spot), and there was a cricket that would hang out on one of the straw bales and start singing to us as soon as we laid down, for a few nights in a row! Our most recent night outdoors, which was a couple weeks ago, Cedar & I slept so deeply and when he woke up in the morning, he was so calm, gazing at the sky, and talking to me about the interesting cloud formations that were floating by. There is something so magical and grounding about sleeping outside, and I so deeply enjoy sharing this experience with my son!

Cedar napping outside

RG: What are your views on children watching television, especially under 3 years of age?

CC: I don’t believe that television, computers and video games are inherently harmful, yet for the Space of Love I am inspired to create with my family, these things play a small (computers) to nonexistant (television) role. My opinion on television is that it offers little value for a child’s early development. I feel that it can be somewhat confusing, distracting, and useless for young children, who are still constructing their basic worldview… especially most of the “programming” available on TV these days. I have never owned a TV in my life… when I moved out of my parents’ house, that was the end of it for me. I enjoyed a few TV shows as a child and teenager, but I don’t miss it at all, and I very much enjoy the silence and simplicity that remains in its place. The occasional YouTube clip gives me all the satisfaction I desire of that kind! Sometimes Cedar and I watch videos on the computer together… he loves the videos you make, Debbie! He says, “let’s watch a Debbie video!” In the past week, we also watched a clip about a little girl who is friends with many wild animals (Tippi… she’s amazing!!), and some little boys playing djembe drums and didgeridoos. So if we watch anything, it’s for a few minutes at a time while we’re together, and we usually spend hours daily outside and playing in other interactive ways… compared to many children these days, who only spend a few minutes (or no time!) outside, and many hours in front of the television daily.

The harm that I see associated with television and other media is in the way so many modern children use them: to fill an emotional hole caused by an unsatisfying life with too much artificial stimulation and materialism, and not enough natural stimulation like close relationships, imaginative play, and nature. To me, that’s very different than if a child (especially an older child) has a strong interest in a subject, and their interest leads them to immerse themselves temporarily in internet research, a specific game, or a related television program. The effect that an external thing (like television) has on us is greatly determined by the inner intention that is motivating us to interact with it!

So I don’t have any rules, I just follow my inspiration on which way to go, and pay attention to my feelings, and if I feel depressed or uninspired about a situation I’m in that involves media (or anything else), my inspiration is urging me to head in a different direction.

~Courtney Clay
http://www.chocotrixie.blogspot.com

David and Cedar lovin’ up on Courtney

We are not finished! I asked my friend six more loaded questions and she gave me six more brilliant answers! Click here for part two of this interview!

Have an ecstatic day!

I realize I have been posting a lot about the law of attraction, goal setting, and synchronicity lately, the reason being it is a new year and I am stoked about creating and conjuring awesome things in my life! One of the top tools in my “manifestation handbag,” besides mind movies, affirmations, clearing space, and blissful living, is vision boards.

Picture of my vision board

Pictures are powerful. Creative expression is powerful. Combine the two and you have the perfect right brained activity to activate magic in your life! For example, a couple of months before David was born I created a vision board. On it I put a picture of a red car. I really desired a new eco-friendly car. Ours was 10 years old and frequently needed maintenance. Not to mention it was super loud when we drove on the freeway! A couple of weeks after making my vision board our car window broke. Remember, everything that happens, whether it is perceived as “good” or “bad,” is a blessing. Since fixing the window would cost more than our car was worth investing in, this incident convinced my practical husband (we balance each other out quite nicely) to trade it in for a new car. Yeah!! We decided on a RED 2008 Honda Civic with great gas milage (eco-friendlyish) and 4 doors (instead of 2). Just in time for baby’s arrival! Would all this have happened if I didn’t set my intention and create my vision board? Probably not. The way it works is by placing your vision board in a location where you will see it often, your subconscious mind will absorb the images within it. Then when opportunities arise in your life to achieve the things depicted on your vision board, your subconscious mind will guide you to make the right choices and enable you to achieve these things. By making my vision board I saw a picture of a red car several times a day and envisioned myself owning one. Sure enough, within a month I did!

So how do you make a vision board and start living your dreams? It is as easy as one, two, three…

How To Make A Vision Board

1. Collect and save your favorite magazines

2. Cut and paste pictures from these magazines onto a big posterboard. Make sure to choose pictures which invoke happy feelings and are representative of your goals and desires

3. Look at your vision board every day and watch miracles happen! Oh, and be sure to give thanks to God, to whom we owe gratitude for every living breath we take, for everything you receive.

Me and my car on a windy day

“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?” ~Matthew 7: 7-11

I am a big proponent of taking care of my teeth naturally and holistically. As the saying goes, “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” The last time I went to a dentist was about 4 years ago when I removed my amalgam filling. After being disillusioned by at least three incompetent dentists, I realized I required to take responsibility for the health and longevity of my own teeth. One dentist, in realizing I had a slight jaw misalignment, actually suggested he break my jaw and put a metal post in it to fix it. What?! Are you serious?! He was. He had this insane procedure done on himself. Poor man! As for me, I will stick with my slight overbite thank you very much!

What are the main reasons people go to the dentist? One, to check for cavities. Two, to fix misalignments. And three, to get a semi-annual cleaning. Proper nutrition can prevent and even reverse cavities and teeth misalignment (especially in children). In his well researched book, Nutrition and Physical Degeneration, Weston Price, a dentist, found nutrition had a direct impact on dental health and jaw bone structure. In an effort to find out why so many “civilized” people had dental problems, he studied several tribes of indigenous people. When these tribes consumed their natural diet they NEVER had any issues with their teeth or need for dental care! Once fed a western diet, the dental health of these same indigenous people, and especially their offspring, rapidly deteriorated. The hundreds of photos in this book are worth a thousand words!

As for the semi-annual cleaning. I have the perfect alternative solution for you! This tooth powder recipe, which I found on herbmentor.com, is the best way to clean teeth I know of. As most of you may already be aware of, conventional toothpaste is chock full of harmful ingredients. Sodium fluoride (used in rat poison), blue dye, sodium lauryl sulfate, triclosan, and hydrated silica just to name a few. Even organic healthier toothpaste versions have ingredients which can be too harsh and abrasive or can coat our enamel, therefore never allowing our teeth to be fully clean. So obviously a professional cleaning would be useful for those who use toothpaste. This tooth powder, on the other hand, leaves my teeth feeling as clean and fresh as a visit to the dentist. I like it even better than tooth soap, which is also a great alternative to toothpaste. In addition, the kaolin clay in this recipe is reported (by a dentist) to feel and look exactly the same as the expensive tooth polishing agent in her office. Hmmmmmm….

Tooth Powder:
1/4 cup baking soda
1/4 cup sea salt
1/4 cup kaolin clay
30 drops spearmint oil
1 tbsp. ground dried sage (helps whiten teeth)

Mix ingredients well and store in airtight container. To use, dab a small amount of tooth powder on wet toothbrush and brush as usual.

Oh, and remember to floss!

After writing my Power of Synchronicity post several weeks ago I recieved lots of positive feedback from my readers. Apparently y’all love hearing magical fairy tale stories. You know, the kind where you actually do get what you desire, kiss the prince, and live happily ever after. Let me tell you, there’s nothing quite like experiencing synchronicity. Like the time I decided I desired to take piano lessons and a couple weeks later found a business card for a local piano teacher in a raw food recipe book I checked out from the library. After throwing this business card away, I met the exact same piano teacher in one of my yoga classes who spontaneously asked me if I was interested in taking piano lessons. How did she know? After handing me her card I recognized it right away! Needless to say, I signed up with her and she turned out to be the most awesome piano teacher ever! That reminds me, I require to start my lessons back up again.

Me lying on a hammock near our hotel in Hawaii

A few months ago, one of my friends put a hammock up outside on her land. It is tied between two pecan trees. I would go over there and enjoy a large part of my visit swinging in her hammock with David. What BLISS! How amazing it is to sway back and forth and look up at the clear blue sky and her beautiful pecan trees. David would nurse and nap and I would meditate. I made up my mind. I had to have one of these for myself! Soon after I wrote out a desire list and posted it on my fridge. At the top of my list I put my desire for a hammock. Mentally, I was trying to figure out how to make it happen. We didn’t have the right tree spacing to tie a hammock to, which I really desired, so in my mind I thought I would have to get a hammock with a stand. And because of our budget at the time I knew we would have to wait until spring to purchase one. I was bummed. This is the scary part of our fairy tale, when you don’t quite know if the heroine is going to have her happy ending. But, as fairy tales go, I was bound to come out strong.

My friend Courtney read my desire for a hammock just like hers. She likes to read everything I write down on my fridge, calendar, and notepads. I think my list making and note taking obsession amuses her. Anyway, she had received her hammock as a gift several years ago when she lived in Hawaii with her former partner. Her partner had received one as a gift as well. She called him and asked if he still had it. He did and it had never been opened! She picked it up from him and surprised me with it for David’s early birthday present!! I admit, I went a little insane…. squealing with delight, jumping up and down, and giving her several hugs in a row. In addition to bringing me a hammock, she brought a wood post so that I could tie one end to one of my trees and the other end to this post (remember how I preferred a tree hammock)! The post needed to be cemented into the ground and, synchonictically, our garage had a couple bags of pre-mixed cement, which I guess the previous tenant had left. So we were able to put it up right then and there! Within only a week or two of writing my desire down, it manifested! I was so happy! The next morning we went outside and enjoyed most of our day on our very own hammock! And we lived Happily Ever After!

David taking a nap in our hammock

The End

I LOVE baby wearing/toddler wearing! Why? Because it helps me to fulfill both my needs and my son’s needs at the same time (especially on his clingy and teething days). I can even get some exercise in while enhancing his development and teaching him good rhythm Here I am dancing with David at a Ecstatic Dance Festival last April (don’t laugh). My son was 5 months young here. WOW! They really do grow up so fast!

I realize some of you may feel I am being too rough dancing with my baby like that, but babies are quite resilient if we allow them to be. Consider women in Africa who carry their babies on their back while pounding grain, or women in South America who trek through jungles and climb trees with their babies securely wrapped against their body. Babies are designed to experience the thrill of life while feeling secure and safe next to their mother. As you can see from my video, David was calm and enjoying the ride! He adapted his position to my position and moved with me. Now he loves music and dancing and has an excellent sense of rhythm.

Other Benefits of Babywearing (taken from Evie’s Kitchen):

• The mother’s progesterone levels are increased through physical contact with the infant, leading to a more intimate maternal bond, easier breastfeeding and better care
• Infants who are carried are calmer because all of their primal/survival needs are met. The caregiver can be seen, heard, smelled, touched and tasted, and can provide feeding
• Consistant motion is necessary for continuing neural development, gastrointestinal and respirator health and to establish balance (inner ear development) and muscle tone

  *Parental rhythms such as walking and heartbeat have a balancing and soothing effect

• Infants are “humanized” earlier by developing socially. Babies who are closer to adults can study facial expressions, learn languages faster and become familiar with body language
• Independence is established earlier (according to Desmond Morris in his book Babywatching)
• You have two free hands to mothertask: do the laundry, juice the cucumbers and keep your baby content
• Some slings are designed for easy breastfeeding, without moving or disturbing the baby
• Slings take up less space than pushchairs

Me shopping at Whole Foods while wearing David (11 months)

That’s what I’m talkin’ bout!

P.S. Do you babywear?

Happy New Year!! This is one of my favorite holidays because of the renewed sense of hope and excitement it gives me for all the adventures I choose to have and goals I choose to accomplish. In celebration, I have included a video of a drink made out of juniper berries (which are in season now), called smreka. This drink is from Bosnia and is surprisingly tasty. It could make a great new year toasting drink for those who are not into alcohol, like myself.

However you enjoy your new year I hope it is blissful, whether you are partying with friends or staying home and keeping it low key like we are this year. Tonight we will be making new year’s resolutions, watching a holiday movie, toasting with kombucha, and sealing 2012 with a midnight kiss. If you are into making new year’s resolutions like we are, check out this post I did 2 years ago. It’s all about how to set the perfect goals for yourself and keep them, inspired by my sister’s adorable dog Chula.

Talk to you in 2012! Our best year yet!

P.S. Apparently my kitchen has bad lighting. I apologize about that to all you artistically minded people. See this post for more bad lighting footage

Ok, get this… I have over 70 books on parenting!! Obsession? I believe so. How about I start doing some book reviews? Good idea? I will start with The Natural Child by Jan Hunt. Bear with me as this is my first book review since high school…

Groggy morning photo

Me wearing David in his New Native sling at the Farmer’s Market

The Natural Child by Jan Hunt is a short 175 page book on parenting from the heart. Jan advocates attachment style parenting (co-sleeping, baby wearing, responding to cries, etc) and talks in depth about discipline, schooling, and our children’s place in society. She has very sound logic and deep insights when it comes to rethinking these subjects. Even those who are adamant about strict discipline, schooling, and the notion that “children should be seen and not heard,” would have to stop and reconsider their viewpoint after reading her book. Jan also gives helpful tips on how to lovingly handle common occurrences with children such as shopping trips and tantrums, always emphasizing the importance of looking at life through our children’s eyes. According to Jan, no child is bad or misbehaves on purpose. There is always a cause and an underlying need which is not being met. She writes, “a child’s behavior is a response to the circumstances present at the time. Those circumstances may be external – such as overstimulation, stressful events, or sibling conflict – or they may be internal – such as teething, food allergy, insufficient sleep, or a developing illness.” Many times throughout the book she repeats the Parenting Golden Rule: “Treat your child as you would like to be treated if you were in the same position.” Below I recorded a small section of this book which I believe sums up her viewpoints nicely. It may be a bit dramatic, but many times drama is key in getting a point across, especially when it goes against the grain of commonly held beliefs on how children should be raised.

David playing in leaves

The Hidden Messages We Give Our Children

Newborn

What we say: “You can cry all you want; I’m not going to pick you up again!”

What we think: “This is breaking my heart, but all those experts can’t be wrong.”

What the child thinks: “They don’t love me. They don’t care about my suffering. Mommy is perfect, so there must be something wrong with me. I must not be worthy of anybody’s love.”

What we say 20 years later: “What on earth do you see in Tom? How can you let him treat you like that? Don’t you know you deserve better than that?”

Infant

What we say: “No more nursing. You’re too big for that now!”

What we think: “I’d like to continue, but I can’t stand all this criticism from my relatives.”

What the child thinks: “I’ve just lost the most important thing in my life: the long periods of cuddling and the food that felt best inside me. I must have done something terrible. I must be a terrible person.”

What we say 20 years later: “Why are you drinking so much?”

Age Two

What we say: “You can’t come into our bed anymore. You won’t be lonely. Look, here’s a nice big teddy bear to keep you company!”

What we think: “Grandma thinks there’s something wrong with having you in our bedroom. I’m not sure what it is, but it’s more important for us to please her than to please you. Anyway, this teddy bear should make you happy.”

What the child thinks: “It isn’t fair! They get to cuddle with a real person. They don’t know me very well. They don’t care about my feelings. Oh well, at least they gave me this bear.”

What we say 20 years later: “I know you’re upset that Tom broke off with you, but is that any reason to overcharge your credit card like this? Will all this stuff make you feel better that someone left you? When did you become so materialistic?”

Age Four

What we say: “You know you’re not supposed to hit your brother! I’ll give you a spanking you’ll never forget!”

What we think: “There must be a better way to handle this, but it’s what my dad did, so it must be right.”

What the child thinks: “I was so upset with my brother I hit him. Now Dad is so upset with me for hitting, he’s hitting me. I guess it’s okay for adults to hit, but not for kids. I wonder what I should do when I get upset? Oh well, one of these days I’ll be an adult myself.”

What we say 20 years later: “A barroom brawl? Adults don’t hit people just because they’re upset. I never taught you to resort to violence!”

Age Six

What we say: “Well, this is a big day for you. Don’t be afraid. Just do everything your teacher says.”

What we think: “Please don’t embarrass me by acting up at school!”

What the child thinks: “But I’m afraid! I’m not ready to leave them for so many hours a day! They must be getting tired of me. Maybe if I do what the teacher says, they’ll like me better and let me stay home.”

What we say 20 years later: “What?! Your friend talked you into taking drugs? Do you do what everybody else tells you to do? Don’t you have a mind of your own?”

Age Eight

What we say: “Your teacher says you aren’t paying attention in class. How will you ever learn anything important?”

What we think: “If my kid never amounts to anything, I’ll feel like a failure.”

What the child thinks: “I’m not interested in the things the teacher talks about, but I guess she knows best. The things that do interest me must not be important.”

What we say 20 years later: “You’re 28 years old an you still don’t know what you want to do with your life? Aren’t you interested in anything?!”

Age Ten

What we say: “You broke another dish? Oh, never mind. I’ll wash them myself.

What we think: “I know I should be more patient with you, but at least this way the dished will get done.”

What the child thinks: “Boy, am I clumsy. I’d better not even try to help anymore.”

What we say 20 years later: “You want that job but you won’t even apply for it? You should have more faith in yourself!”

Age Twelve

What we say: “Go out and play with your friends – You’ll have more fun with them than hanging around here all day.”

What we think: “I know I should spend more time with you, but I’ve got so much to do. It’s a good thing there are so many kids around here.”

What the child thinks: “I want to do things with Mom and Dad, but they’re always too busy. I guess my friends like me better.”

What we say 20 years later: “You never call us or come to see us anymore. Don’t you care about our feelings?”

Age Fourteen

What we say: “Please leave the room, dear. Your father and I have something personal to discuss.”

What we think: “We have some secrets we’d rather you didn’t know about.”

What the child thinks: “I’m not really part of this family.”

What we say 20 years later: “You’re in prison?! Why didn’t you tell us you were having problems? Don’t you know there are no secrets in families? We tried so hard. Where did we go wrong?”

David and I snuggling by the fire

Being a parent is the most important thing we will ever do. What could be more vital than the legacy we leave behind through our children? And what could be more important than ensuring the next generation is happy, healthy, and fully functioning? This is why it is soooooo important to THINK about what we are doing. It is not wise to follow the crowd or take the “easy” road on this one. I challenge each one of you to rethink the way you are parenting your precious little ones. Every word we speak and every action we take has a subtle or not so subtle effect on the rest of their lives. These amazing beings of light have entrusted their care to us. Let us live up to their trust and take our sacred responsibility seriously.

P.S I am recording my journey with David using the 8 principles I choose to parent by. Look out for my e-book, Advanced Parenting: 8 Ways to Activate Your Child’s Full Potential, at the end of 2012

I am really enjoying all the wild greens growing on my land right now. Filaree, dandelion, chickweed, curly dock, and hedge parsley are in season here in Texas. Can you believe wild food has on average 10 times more nutrition than conventional food?! And it’s free! And it’s tasty! And it gets us out of the house, giving us fresh air and a meditative mind! I really have no excuse not to have at least one wild salad a day. I usually do

Freshly picked wild greens ready to make into a salad or green smoothie

If I wanted to go the extra mile I could even add some wild pecans and black walnuts to my salad. Now that would be WILD!

What do you like to put in your wild salad?

Hackberries are in season! Woo Hoo!! These are one of my most favorite wild foods. During late fall and all through the winter you will find me drinking hackberry milk 3-4 times a week for breakfast! Breakfast of champions I tell you! I am always experimenting with my superfood drinks, adding a little of this and a dash of that. Sometimes this results in a beverage which requires me to plug my nose and chug it down as fast as possible. Other times my experiments result in the most delectible delight and for a moment I fancy myself a culinary genius! Recently I created a hackberry milk which tastes so much like egg nog, only with double the nutrition and without the gut bomb effect. Try it! You just might LOVE it!

Try it fancy

Or try it casual. Either way it ROCKS!

Holiday Hackberry Nog:
1 cup wild foraged hackberries
4 cups warm rooibos tea
2 Tbsp. raw honey (or sweetener of choice)
1 Tbsp. organic non-gmo soy lecithin
1 Tbsp. coconut oil
2 cloves
3 shakes cinnamon
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
big pinch sea salt

Add rooibos tea and hackberries to high speed blender. Blend on high for 1-2 minutes. Strain and add liquid back into blender. Add in remaining ingredients and blend well, until creamy. Pour into mugs and sprinkle nutmeg on top. Voila! Best Holiday Nog EVER!!

Sometimes I add 2 tsp. of medicinal mushrooms to the mix, but this tends to change the flavor, so I don’t recommend it if you are a beginner

Happy Holidays!

P.S. For all you breastfeeding moms, this drink is great for replenishing your milk supply!