RoseGoddessBliss.com

I notice I am becoming more and more interested in writing blog posts about motherhood (hmmm, wonder why), and since I have far from mainstream ideas on the subject I feel I require to give a disclaimer first. Here it is:

This blog post is for educational purposes only and should not be used to correct, blame, or criticize any mother. Always consult your heart first before putting into practice any of the following information. Motherhood is the most full on “job” (joy of being) in existence and no mother should be judged or made to feel “less than” another. The only exception to this rule is in the case of physical or psychological abuse.

Me and David, 9 months, playing in the mud!

Phew, now that I got that out of the way, let’s talk about toys. My son, David, is now 9 months young. He has never owned a toy in his life! And, I don’t plan on ever giving him toys unless he specifically asks for them. Several of my wonderful family members have asked me why I choose to do this, so I decided to write down my top ten list of why I don’t use toys (can you tell I like lists?):

1. Good for physical development: If children don’t have a bunch of toys, television, and video games to entertain them, what do they do? Usually, they will become a lot more active! Children get their exercise and develop their bodies in beautiful ways by playing outside, climbing trees, running around with friends, swimming, exploring and hiking.

2. Good for emotional development: Nature brings out calm and joyful feelings in most people, and especially in children. I have found time and time again that if David is fussy from overstimulation, tiredness, or being inside too long, if I take him outside he calms down immediately. The more good, joyful, and loving feelings a child experiences while growing up, the more these feelings become part of his being. Children are so pure and non-judgmental. What they are exposed to when growing up, they accept as truth. Sadly, many television programs, video games, and toys, which are based on these video games and television shows, teach violence (for boys) and helplessness or materialism (for girls). Imagine instead a child who is raised mainly in nature with lots of loving family, friend, and animal interaction. These children will bond to (living) people and nature instead of (dead) things.

David, 8 months, playing outside with his friend Cedar. They are bathing in fresh spring water!

I once watched a youtube video in which a mom was near a small pond with her young son. They were pointing out frogs and watching them leap into the water. The son then pointed to a statue of a frog and the mother told him it was not real. Perplexed, he asked her “why?” He couldn’t understand why there would be a fake frog near the pond. I have also witnessed David interacting with fake objects as if they are real. He says “hey!” to statues and dolls and gives zerberts to balls, chairs and air purifiers. In my opinion, it’s best to just “keep it real.”

3. Good for mental development: Magda Gerber, founder of RIE, says, “A little boredom inspires initiative.” A plain natural object such as a rock or stick can induce far more creativity in children than watching TV or playing with toys that light up, make sounds, etc. One encourages imagination and an ability to entertain ones self, and the other promotes passivity and the expectation of always being “entertained.” When we, as adults, don’t have anything on our “to do” list and don’t have any grownup toys to distract us (television, cars, computers, shopping centers, etc.), we have time to think. And through thinking, pondering, and meditation deep insights are reached. This holds true for children as well.

4. Good for spiritual development: John Donne is famous for saying, “No man is an island.” We are always being shaped and effected, in subtle and not so subtle ways, by who and what we surround ourself with. Think of how much more peaceful you feel inside when surrounded by a clean home as opposed to a dirty one. When your child is interacting with toys, he is interacting with the thoughts and creations of a man. When your child interacts with nature, he is interacting with the thoughts and creations of God. What better way to get to know the artist then to study His/Her artwork?

David, 4 months, studying a Dogwood tree

5. Safety: Millions of toys have been recalled due to things like being coated in lead-based paint and cadmium, being a choking hazard, having dangerous magnets, and other toy safety issues. This usually happens after thousands and sometimes millions of people have already purchased them and used them. It’s so much safer to avoid toys in the first place. As a side note, this type of thing happens with baby formula too. Many formulas have been recalled due to harmful substances or contamination in their milk only after several babies have been fed their product. If you do use formula, be a smart shopper. Check the FDA website to make sure you are not feeding your baby a contaminated product.

6. Good for the planet: The majority of toys are made out of plastic and other such junk which eventually goes to the landfills and pollutes our precious planet. We already have a plastic island in the pacific ocean. Let’s not add to it.

7. Saves money: I, like most parents and grandparents, enjoy purchasing things for my baby. However, I like to make sure what I purchase is a good investment and really useful for my child’s care and development. I look forward to giving my son musical instruments, art supplies, challenging games, and conscious books when he is ready for them. These I know will be enjoyable and good for his learning. Right now, when David sees a book, he likes putting it in his mouth. He is exploring his world on a physical level and so I would rather him put rocks, grass, dirt, and leaves in his mouth than plastic toys and ink filled paper (which can have heavy metals in it).

David, 7 months, playing with Bryan’s guitar. He loves music!

8. Toys distract children from interacting with the real world: Instead of putting our children in a separate room with a bunch of toys which are unrelated to real life, we can involve them in our daily activities. Even at a young age, children can help prepare food, garden, shop, forage, and clean. You can wear your baby as you go about your daily life and you can take your child with you to parties and meetups. In The Continuum Concept, by Jean Liedloff, the yequana children were preparing for real life from the start. Young boys played with bows and arrows and sometimes went on hunting adventures with their fathers. Young girls were given mini graters to grate the manioc root when they felt inspired. All the children played in the river, explored the jungle, took care of babies, and rode in canoes. They had fun while preparing for their life ahead.

When I was about 10 years old I had a sudden realization that I had outgrown all my toys. As I pondered this, knowing it was now time for me to get rid of my toys, I felt a sense of sadness and emptiness, not because I was moving on, but because all the time I had spent playing with these toys was wasted. They had nothing to do with reality or the direction I was heading in my life. How much easier this transition would have been if I had played with things that are useful and meaningful. I wouldn’t have to throw away nature, musical instruments, or kitchen supplies. I would just interact with them differently as I matured.

9. Toys lead children on the path of rampant consumerism. Anastasia, from The Ringing Cedars series tells us, “One after another, the child is presented with the accoutrements of an artificial world. Some new toy or item of clothing is offered to him as the latest summum bonum. And the thought is thereby drummed into him that these are the most important objects in the world where he has arrived” (for more information on how Anastasia views the effect of toys on a child’s development click here). Children then come to expect and desire more and more things. After a few days or months he is bored with his new toy and desires something different because no artificial object could ever fulfill a child’s inner longing for fun, magic and spiritual connection. Thus starts the life long pattern of always seeking fulfillment outside of oneself and never being content in the present moment. Here is a great article which expounds further on this topic.

10. Balance: Realistically, my children are eventually going to be exposed to toys and TV when they go over to play with cousins and friends (just the other day David was playing with some Waldorf toys one of his playmates owns, which is really cool because if I were to give him toys, those would be the kind I would give him). Am I going to be the type of overprotective controlling mom who doesn’t let her children experience life or follow their passion? NO WAY! What I can control, however, is what I expose my children to when they are young and the type of home environment I set up for them. When he gets older, if he desires certain toys, I will probably give them to him. I am allowing David to get a taste of both worlds, the world of nature and the world of technocracy. And because of this he will have a holistic and balanced view of life.

David, at 6 months, studying a thistle flower we cut for him. He was obsessed with those for a while

David, at 6 months, enjoying our waterfall we sometimes have on our land after it rains

P.S. I am recording my journey with David using the 7 principles I choose to parent by. Look out for my e-book, Advanced Parenting: 7 Ways to Activate Your Child’s Full Potential, in the fall of 2012

Related Posts:

• Parenting Made Easy ~ 3 Ways To Make Raising Children Fun!
• Baby It’s Cold Outside ~ Rewild Your Child
• Ecstatic Parenting ~ My Interview With Courtney Clay ~ Part Two
• Ecstatic Parenting ~ My Interview With Courtney Clay ~ Part One
• Getting Jiggy With It! A Tribute to Babywearing